Is your “inner good girl” killing your business and causing you to underearn? Would you like to fix this without killing her? (Really, I don’t want to kill the woman. She’s actually very nice!) I’m doing two radio shows about this topic this week, so tune in if you can.

Tune in Wednesday, March 17th, 3 to 4pm Pacific to the Sisters of Sizzle radio program. I’ll be talking with them about how to earn your worth, from about 3:30 to 4pm. Go here: http://www.contacttalkradio.com/hosts/kloter-pagano.html and click on “Listen Live”.

Tune in Friday, March 19th, at 9am Pacific/ noon Eastern, when I will appear as a guest on the Femme Finance Radio Program. Deb Whitlock is interviewing me for a juicy hour on how we can conquer underearning—without killing our “inner good girl”. Go to www.ImThankful.com/radio and click the “Listen Live” buttons. (If you’re near Seattle, tune to 1150 am—KKNW.)

When I am interviewed, I commonly get asked “Why do women earn less than men?” Jeepers. It’s a huge question, and a very charged question. Talk about stepping into the fire! And I’m always frustrated that people expected a single answer! At any rate, I took on the challenge and recorded this tiny three minute video with my response.

I talk about two reasons, though there are more. So check it out and tell me what you think. The bottom line is that I do think women don’t ask for what they want as often as men do (and the research backs me up!) though the reasons behind this are also very complex. All the same, it causes us to underearn. I also mention a whopping second reason- “our relational nature”—we are so focused on other people that sometimes this really hurts us financially. It’s a version of that “good girl” thing, where we want people to like us, hate making people uncomfortable and sometimes give too much away… Comments?? Do you agree or disagree?

I recorded this four minute video to teach you a super powerful– but very simple– technique. I call it “Practicing the Pause”. Use it to protect your time and make more money. When people ask you for your time, “practice the pause”. When you are tempted to discount or undersell yourself in the moment, “practice the pause”. And tell me how it works for you!

TIME TO EARN MORE?

If you would like to earn what you’re truly worth and step into greater abundance, please see Mikelann’s Unlock Your Earning Power toolkit.   Identify what has been holding you back, learn the skills to ask for more and start earning at your true potential. For both self-employed and salaried women.

Letter to service providers: Please charge me more money!

Okay, here is a really crazy post. I may even secretly hope certain people don’t see it! But… I get really nervous when my service providers don’t charge me enough money. Why? Because I know it can’t be sustained. Because I know that my service provider is walking the long and bleak road to self-deprivation, depletion and resentment. While other customers may deceive themselves into thinking they are getting a good deal when their massage therapist charges them an outrageously low amount, I wonder to myself, “How does she live on what she makes?” And I know she can’t stay in business over the long run.

Charging appropriately coveys confidence. Confidence is attractive! It tells me that you believe you are good at what you do. I work hard, and when I see a service provider, I want to relax and trust that they can deliver their service competently. Let me rest in your capable hands.

Besides, if you don’t charge me enough money, I may doubt that you can really help me. You don’t want me thinking, “I hope this isn’t a case where ‘you get what you pay for.’” Low fees tell me you must be brand new or you must not be very good. To be fair, this is not always conscious on my part. I’m only human. (Although I do assume expensive cheese and wine must somehow be better. High prices do convey that message, whether or not it is true.)

But the biggest reason I want you to charge me more money is because I know what other people don’t always realize. If you don’t charge me more money, you will disappear. And that would be a huge bummer for me. Like most women, I use a fair amount of service providers and I build relationships with them. I don’t see people I don’t like and trust. I like my hair dresser, my chiropractor, my therapist, and my waxer. In my business I have relationships with my virtual assistant, my editor, and my web developer. The list goes on and on! If they don’t make enough money, they’ll go out of business. Then what will I do?

If you don’t charge me, and everyone else, more money, will you make enough to continue being a business owner? Are you really charging me enough to pay all your business expenses and then pay yourself enough money to live on? And are you really living or are you merely surviving? If you don’t have enough money, you will become resentful, depleted and depressed. This will spill over into your work. And eventually, you will simply have to close the doors and do something else.

I don’t want to lose you. So PLEASE make sure you charge me enough money.

Marc Pearlman, host of Your Money Matters Radio, interviewed me for his radio show this week. So click here to listen to a thought provoking one hour show on Underearning– what it is and how to fix it. It was interesting having a man interview me on this topic. Marc is a money manager and brought up various aspects that apply to both men and women. We discussed the common ways people underearn– including the active and passive aspects of underearning. We also dove into pricing, the boom-bust nature of underearners, how to get out of the money fog and conquer underearning, and various psychological aspects that cause underearning. I also shared my own story of my personal internal income ceiling. (The recording is  also available 24/7 on Apple iTunes Radio Talk, so search for Your Money Matters Radio, Marc Pearlman and Mikelann Valterra, if I’m no longer the current show listed on the website.)  What are YOUR thoughts? http://www.yourmoneymattersradio.com/

http://www.yourmoneymattersradio.com/

Check out this article in the Sacramento Bee— Do women undercut their financial future? Claudia Beck interviewed me on my view on underearning. As always, this is a sensitive issue. Of course there is outside discrimination and reasons why women may earn less than men—reasons beyond their control.  But “underearning “is about the role that we play in this.

Here is a small excerpt:

Despite the strides women have made in the workplace in the last 30 years, Valterra believes they still carry around a lot of emotional baggage attached to money. “We don’t want to be pushy, we don’t want to rock the boat. … In 2009, that hasn’t changed in female DNA.”
In her view, women need to worry less, speak up more and become skilled at negotiating their salary.

Check out the comments on the article. I touched a nerve and had to add my own comment. Of course I don’t think money is more important than people! Good grief! As I said in my comment after the article, the point of talking about underearning is NOT to make people feel bad—we are all doing the best we can do. It is simply to raise awareness that we need to stick up for ourselves and make sure we earn the money that we deserve to earn.

Money is not the key to life. But if you make enough money (which is completely relative) you have one less thing to stress about.  I know that many women are very stressed about money right now (and men too!) But if we attend to our own earning issues, we will have less stress over our lifetimes. As uncomfortable as this issue is, let’s keep talking about it. (And by the way, men are still more likely than women to negotiation their salary, even in a recession.)

Ready to experience me live? On July 14th, I’m presenting an evening seminar in Seattle for women who are ready to step into prosperity.  I will address how to stop underselling yourself and earn what you’re really worth.  Here is some of what I’ll cover:

• Identify the five hidden forms of underearning (and how they may be costing you money!)
• Explore the concept of “noble poverty”—is it holding you back?
• The impact of the “money fog” on our earning ability
•  How women under price themselves and what to do about it
• Two powerful negotiation strategies that conquer the “good girl syndrome” and bring you more money

Click here for more info and to register. If you are near Seattle, I would love to meet you in person!

I believe that in order to step into true abundance, you have to journey down the “threefold path to prosperity”. Below I write about these paths in more detail, with questions for you to ponder. In future blog posts, I will take each path deeper and deeper. Consider this the “threefold path overview”.

Emotional Money Path

The first path, emotional money, takes a deep look at why we do what we do with money. Many of us have deep seated beliefs about money—many of which are unconscious. We may secretly fear that to desire more money is greedy and we may mistrust wealthy people. This unvoiced “noble poverty” wreaks havoc on our ability to earn money.

How do you feel about the wealthy?

Some women feel great about money but secretly hope that somehow they will be “rescued” from the fate of having to earn it all themselves. Feelings of shame and undeservedness arise. These are all very common feelings, wrapped up in our childhoods and societies often confusing messages about money and work.

Do you hope something will rescue you so you don’t have to do this all alone?

Other women may feel less conflicted about money but have a hard time tapping into their personal drive and ambition, and feel ambivalent about money. The path of emotional money is where you dive into your feelings, give voice to your fears and name your beliefs. While these beliefs may no longer serve you, until they are brought to light, they will drive your behavior around money.

Practical Money Path

The second path is the practical money path. This is the path where you learn the skills around asking for more money, from how to set and raise your fees to how to comfortably negotiate for all your needs.

How do you feel about the money you charge? Do you need to charge your clients more money?

However, to come to the place of asking for more, it is helpful to vanquish the money fog that so many people live inside of. The money fog keeps us confused as to how much our lives really cost.

Do you know where your money goes and how much your business is costing you to run?

The practical money path also helps us figure out exactly how much money we need to earn to live a truly abundant life—a life that encompasses not only our needs and our desires but also security and freedom in the future as well as the ability to give money away.

Do you know how much money you need and want to make?

The Metaphysical Path

The final path, metaphysical money, is where you learn to consciously train your thoughts and change your feelings around money, to bring about the results you desire. There are many techniques to learn. This is the most advanced path and requires work on the other paths to be truly effective at this level.

For example, you must be aware of what you believe and be able to name your feelings before you can shift them (emotional money path) and you must know exactly what you desire (practical money) before you can focus on the result you want.

Do you know what it is you want to affirm for your life? Do you have an “abundance practice” that feeds your soul?

While a lot has been written about various “surface” aspects of the metaphysics of money, such as affirmations, this is a very deep path and goes straight to the heart of true prosperity and abundance. Some people meld this final path into their spiritual path.

Stay Tuned

I realize this can sound like a lot, but the truth is that our relationship to money is a complex relationship. This blog is devoted to these three paths, so you’ll see many posts that address how to embrace each path. It is different for everyone. I think we all naturally gravitate towards one path, which is great. But the question is, what do you need to work on that doesn’t feel “natural” to you? Read over the paths again. Can you embrace a part of each one?