All posts by SeattleMoneyCoach

brave women at work podcast

Podcast: From “money fog” to money as life energy

Podcast host Jen Pestikas of Brave Women at Work, interviewed me on why women feel anxious about money, and how to overcome this stress. We dove into what money fog is, and how money is really a form of life energy. And we talked about living our values in money. We even hit how to escape “golden handcuffs” — when we don’t like our jobs.  This is a jammed packed interview that covers our money beliefs, and how to create a nourishing spending plan that literally helps you architect the life you truly want. (And at the beginning, I share how I got into the field of money coaching.) Enjoy it.

Podcast: Brave Women at Work: EP: 107 Get Out of Your Money Fog with Mikelann Valterra on Apple Podcasts

smashing the plateau podcast

Podcast: On being self-employed, pricing, and building your community

Listen in as David Shriner-Cahn and I talk about running your own ship. David loves working with people who have left the corporate world and gone into consulting. This is a huge shift for many professionals, who now have to market, network, and charge for their services. We had a great conversation on why using a personal spending plan is key to figuring out how much you need to charge. And we talked about how paying yourself first is the most important. We also discussed pricing—how do you avoid undercharging? And how do you set and raise your fees while building a sustainable business? And last, we discussed the role of community for business owners. I shared my experiences of how my participation in business groups over the years has been key to my business success. So, if you are self-employed, or thinking of hanging out your own shingle, listen to this episode.

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-transform-your-relationship-with-money/id903756992?i=1000591289823

the shrimp tank podcast

Podcast: The Shrimp Tank Episode—guilty pleasures and the differences between men and women

The Shrimp Tank is a podcast “where street smarts and book smarts collide”. Watch a very fun conversation between me and two great guys—Dan Weedin and Craig Swanson. We analyzed their own money personalities. What is underneath Dan’s love of golf equipment, and what about Craig’s love of taking his family on vacation? We also hit how men and women are different. We talked a lot about my tango hobby and spending money on hobbies in general. Their “plead the fifth” section made me laugh hard when they asked about my own guilty pleasures of spending money on tango shoes. And what advice would I give my younger self and what about my own money mistakes?! This is as real as it gets.

Full show video: https://youtu.be/qxAhTWItBc8

Podcast: https://www.shrimptankpodcast.com/how-to-stop-stressing-about-money

How to escape golden handcuffs and live the life you want

When I met Rebecca, she was in her early forties.

She was a well-respected marketing manager in the technology industry. And she was working an insane number of hours every week. 

At our first meeting she told me, “I’ve never made this much money in my life.”

The crunch

While she was surprised and delighted by her income, she was also becoming increasingly concerned and stressed about her work-life balance. She felt as if she was wearing golden handcuffs. The high salary, benefits, and stock options made her feel she would be crazy to leave the position for something that paid less. 

She didn’t have time to work out or unwind. She had been missing many important events for her friends and family because she was working or recovering from working too much. When she did make it out with friends, or find a way to take a few days off for a vacation, she felt too stressed to enjoy it. 

In the back of her mind, she always wondered if she should find a less stressful job. She yearned for a job where she could spend more time on the weekends with friends and family. She wanted a job that didn’t require her to be on her email every waking moment. She wanted a job that ended before 8:00 p.m. every night.

The fog

She was in a fog about her money. In fact, she had never really looked at her money. She was anxious to really see where she was spending her money. She was worried about what she might find.

What if she found that all this hard work, all this time, wasn’t really helping her save money? What if she wasn’t “making this count”? 

Sometimes she even carried credit card debt. She felt embarrassed. She made “made enough,” so how could she let this happen?

As a money coach, I helped Rebecca look at her expenses and savings for the first time in a long time. 

What she saw

Many things become apparent very quickly. There were “money leaks”—money going to subscriptions and services she no longer cared about. And she saw that she was doing a fair amount of “stress spending” to cope with her crazy schedule.

She felt she was on a money hamster wheel—she needed to make enough to spend on big vacations where she could de-stress from her hard work, only to start the cycle over again when she returned. She was shocked at some of the totals we saw.

However, when she looked at how she wanted to live her life, she also began to see that she did not need to make her current salary. Yes, it was nice, but a fair amount of it was going to support her stress spending, or simply leaking out to unimportant things.

And when we looked at her net worth, we saw that the picture was better than she feared.

The light at the end of the tunnel

Her money fears quickly calmed down as she exited the “money fog”. We dove into what she truly needed and wanted in her life, and this brought more clarity. She began to feel in control of her money for the first time. 

A job opened up at a non-profit she kept her eyes on. Lo and behold, she felt she could make the leap. She knew now that it would pay more than enough for her to enjoy her life and keep her on track for the future. 

The golden handcuffs unlocked and fell to the floor.

Her new schedule gave her time to attend a regular yoga class. She re-connected with friends she loved dearly. She started sleeping better, too.

This is the power of financial clarity and creating a nourishing spending plan. The door to your ideal life unlocks and opens for you.

the retirement wisdom podcast

Podcast: Money and Emotions—The Retirement Wisdom Episode

Most of us want to enjoy our retirement someday. And money plays a role—an emotional role. So if you are curious about the emotional side of money, this podcast episode is for you.  Joe Casey, from the Retirement Wisdom podcast, dove into exploring our money beliefs and analyzing where they come from. More importantly, how do they impact us? And how does one develop a healthy relationship to money? We talked about the two most common money personalities, and what happens when they marry each other. And on a practical note, that is also emotional, how do we handle “retail therapy?” And what about retirement? How does the emotional side of money impact us when we become “work optional?”  People have more time in retirement, so having the resources to put into personal interests is key to happiness. And last, what is money coaching and how is it different than financial planning? So listen in, for a deep dive on emotions and money.

Listen here

The magic of planning your spending

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild, and precious life? – Mary Oliver, American Poet

How I love this quote! It captures why I love the art of planning my spending. Because the art of planning your spending is really the art of planning your life. And I suspect you want a wonderful life full of less stress, more peace, and more fun.

Learning how to plan your spending literally gives you the ability to create a life full of magic. Really!

As we all know, nothing happens without a plan. Or things happen, but haphazardly. Maybe you get what you wanted, and maybe you don’t. I am personally not willing to leave my one wild and precious life to chance. Granted, there are enough curve balls (A pandemic!?) but planning my spending means I can literally create a life that gives me what I desire.

And yet so often people are resistant to planning their spending. Even though we all know that it’s difficult to take a wonderful trip without planning. And I consider my entire life a wonderful trip that is worthy of some planning. I want to dance, I want to travel, I want some lovely clothing, I want a nice retirement account. I want time to enjoy it all. This all takes planning. 

I was talking to my good friend about why she broke up with her boyfriend recently. And of course, as women do, it was a long juicy conversation over a bottle of wine. But one of the frustrations she brought up was his inability to plan.  There were so many fun things she wanted to do. And yet he literally seemed allergic to planning. This meant they either wandered around aimlessly in their free time together, or she planned something fun for them to do.

None of this bode well for their future.

She knows that with planning, all things are possible, from going to Paris to creating a life with someone full of joy and love.

Planning and Creativity

Planning. It is as simple a question as “What do I need and want this month?” Then creativity comes into play as we balance this with our incomes and larger goals.  The truth is that creativity responds to articulated needs. When we list out what we need, our creative brain takes on the job of figuring out how to make it happen.

Planning is FULL of creativity. Sometimes, if my resources are going towards a larger financial goal (from paying off debt to building up savings) there may not be a lot of discretionary money left over. Then I ask myself, “how do I creatively get my needs met this month on less money?” My current needs don’t disappear just because I am also focused on larger financial goals. Too often we do not bring creativity into our money lives. We assume that either things work, or they don’t. And if we suspect things “don’t work” then we don’t want to plan. What is the point, we ask?

But planning your spending means you sit down and find a way to make it work. You find a way to get your needs met. You find a way to have what you truly want.

If my need is to spend time with my friends, I may need to find creative ways to see them for less money. Maybe it is over drinks, instead of dinner. Maybe they come to my house for dinner. Planning my spending helped me figure this out.

If I want to go back to school and need more time, maybe I rent out my spare room so I can work less. Planning helps me creatively think through financial possibilities. 

All things are possible with planning. It is true that Rome was not built in a day. But a little planning goes a long way. 

With enough planning, I was able to find the time to take art classes, as well as the money to pay for an art program. Planning enables me to travel for tango. With planning I was even able to build a second home that I rent out. 

Planning your spending IS magic. 

It is a blueprint that you can follow to create a life you have dared not dream about.

The art of planning your spending IS the art of planning your life. 

So tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild, and precious life? 

women beyond a certain age podcast

Podcast: Women of a Certain Age talk about money

Listen to this saucy conversation on women and money, as host Denise Vivaldo chats it up with Mikelann Valterra.  They hit it ALL, including what  really motivates spenders vs. savers, stories about how siblings in the same family are so very different with money (and why), and stories of women underselling themselves until Mikelann and Denise show them a different way. Mikelann also talks about the power of simplifying your finances so you are less stressed. Plus:  what happens when “opposites attract” get married, and then money comes up? Oh boy.  This is a super fun conversation to listen to as these two bold women have a no-holds barred conversation about what money is REALLY like for “women of a certain age”.  And it’s loaded with ideas you can use. Enjoy!

https://womenbeyond.podbean.com/e/beating-financial-anxiety-with-mikelann-valtera/

the mean show podcast

Podcast: Get older, stay cool and protect your passions

When Kristen Philipkoski, who hosts the popular online Mean Magazine (Mean Magazine — Lifestyle and irreverence for grown women  (tagline: Get Older, Stay Cool), invited me to chat, I jumped at the chance. We talked about it all!  Here is what host Kristen said about our conversation: 

“One of my biggest takeaways from Mikelann was that the more you know about your spending, the less you will have to think about money. If you get clear on exactly where your money is going, and then decide what is most important to YOU, you can create a life where you get everything you need, don’t waste money on things you don’t care about, and actually think about money less.

What a blessing that would be, right?!

We talk about how to get control of your money, the importance of having a passion that brings you joy (hers is Argentine tango), why opposite money personalities tend to partner up, and so much more…”

Here is the link to listen:

Mikelann Valterra talks money anxiety and the importance of protecting your passions — Mean Magazine

 

Centsability podcast

Podcast: Dealing with Financial Anxiety

The airwaves took me to Australia this month where I guested on Financial Advisor and Money Mindset Coach Amie Baker’s podcast, Centsability. Listen to this lively conversation where we cover it all. Why do women stress over money? What do our childhoods have to do with how we feel about money? How can we feel truly abundant? This is a deep dive and you’ll love it.

Dealing With Financial Anxiety | EP38 (podbean.com)

How to create a life you love after divorce

Dare I say there is a silver lining to divorce? Well, there is.  You get a fresh start in so many ways. And your relationship to money is one of these “fresh start opportunities”.

Now that you are single, you get to do money the way YOU want to. However, we all know that post-divorce, you may be stressed about money. There is sometimes less money, different expenses, potential career changes, and houses that must be settled. In the midst of so much chaos, you may think, how can there be anything positive? The positive is that this new life is YOURS.  You can set up fresh accounts at your own bank, pay bills the way you want to, and spend on what matters to YOU.

More than this, divorce gives us an opportunity to engage in “conscious life design”. That’s my way of saying- create a life that YOU love- a life of your own making. 

Creating Your New Life

I have studied psychology and how to create a life of your own choosing, for many years. There are wonderful tools- from vision boards to all sorts of ways to “desire map” your life. (Danielle LA Porte’s “The Desire Map” is on my favorite book list.)  But what is often missing from the conversation about “how to create an amazing life” and “how to manifest your life goals” is the money piece. When you infuse money- how to handle it, think about it, use it wisely– you really CAN create a life of your choosing.

Money is the ultimate tool for designing a new life you love.

I wish so many of us didn’t have to divorce to get to this piece. But so many people marry young, and create busy lives with years full of children, career and our marriage partnership. And money is often a topic of frustration between couples with differing styles, so years can go by without people looking at it clearly, let alone getting a good handle on it.

But now everything has changed. And you can use learning about money as a personal growth opportunity just for you. You can take the time to examine your emotions around money, your history around money, and your early money beleifs. Money IS emotional- and being able to examine our feelings around money- feelings about spending, earning, how much money there is, what we wish we could do, etc, is a huge game changer.

 Women are creative in this phase of life.

 We are creative beings. And women in this phase of life are extremely creative. On the other side of divorce, we are freed up from the drive to “have children” and sometimes we are freed up in other ways as well.  We look at everything with fresh eyes. Why? Well, we have to. Everything HAS changed, so it forces us to assess everything. We end up assessing our friendships- old ones strengthen, some friendships wither away, and new friendships come into being.

We often think about how we are dressing and taking care of ourselves, now that it is just us. We think about what WE want our homes to look like and feel like. We find fresh energy for our careers. We engage with our children in truly thoughtful and meaningful ways, as we help them weather a family divorce as well.

Divorce shakes us out of ruts. I don’t mean to make it all sound fun. Heck, it’s hard work. But none-the-less, like the phoenix rising from the ashes, we are reborn into a new life. So learning how to handle money in a lovely and easy way, ensures this new life is one we consciously create. Not just something that happens to us.

A tip for you- keep things simple

Here is a tip- use this as an opportunity to clean up accounts and start fresh- keep things simple and elegant, so you have an easy time seeing where all your money is going and coming from. Open up new accounts all at the same bank, and keep it simple. I recommend opening one checking account, one attached savings account and one credit card account at the same bank. This way you can log onto one interface and see all your accounts in one place. And refrain from opening up multiple accounts. Again,  keep it simple.

Here is a video I recorded on how to simplify your financial life. It’s perfect if you just went through a divorce. (Three minutes)

And here is the accompanying article I wrote on the art and magic of simplifying your finances. 

You can do it

You really can create a new life that you love, during this pivotal transition.  This is an opportunity to hit the reset button on your relationship to money. You can let go of unhealthy ways of relating to money and really befriend it. Truly.  And since it is just you, you can create a relationship with money that suits YOU.  

The process I coach people on is perfect for women post-divorce. It is about how to create a life you love, using your relationship to money as a way to craft it. It’s about getting a handle on expenses, and learning to plan where your money goes, so you don’t create debt. It’s about learning how to manage your cash flow to avoid financial stress, rebuild  savings and move into the future so you can work on growing your net worth. If you are curious about the tool I use and recommend for tracking and planning, it is www.moneygrit.com

Once it is just you, you can really give everything a fresh shot. There is no one telling you what to do. There is no one to react to. You get to spend the way you want, you get to decorate the way you want, you get to sleep in the middle of the bed and hang that picture he hated. 😉

So- since we have to “deal with money” anyways, why not use it as a vehicle for personal growth AND a way to create and design a life you love?