Whether you are a therapist, a life coach, business coach or money coach, you are in a position to help women create better lives for themselves. It is sacred and intimate work being invited into someone’s life. Of the many topics you work with, I want to invite you to add money to your list. So many women long to have more freedom, create a life of their own choosing, and have less stress, but often one of the culprits that holds them back is money.

There are many aspects to our relationship to money—from how we feel about our spending to our relationship to debt and savings. But the fuel that underlies many money subjects is our relationship to earning money. When we make enough money, there is enough for spending, debt repayment, savings, investing, giving back and enjoying life in general.

Most women know that the key to life is not money. And being “rich” does not make one happy. But having “enough” IS key to a happy and balanced life.

Does your client (or friend) want to earn more? Would this help her meet her needs better now, and secure her future? Will she sleep better if she earned more?

If so, how do you support her in increasing her income? The first key to talk about it. Money is still often a taboo subject, even in counseling and coaching, but it is time to break the silence. This silence keeps women earning far less than they could.

How do you broach the subject? At some point gently ask, “Would it be okay if we talk about your relationship to earning money?  I’d love to explore that with you.”

From there, it is a matter of asking questions. Women are very self-reflective, if given the opportunity and a genuine listening ear. 

You may share that sometimes people love their work but not the money they earn for it. And for others, it is the opposite—they make good money but don’t love their job. What is true for them?

Other questions you can ask:

• How do you feel about money in general? Do you feel like you have enough?
• How do you feel about your relationship to earning money in particular?
• Are you happy with what you earn now? Or would you like to increase your earnings?
• Do you know what others make in your field? (This is a sore point for many women and it can be good to talk to someone about how they feel about this.) 
• What has it been like for you in the past? Do you feel like you’ve always “made good money” or do you feel like you’ve always earned below your potential or less then you really needed?
• What fears come up for you when you think of earning more?

As you can imagine, these will get the conversation rolling. Big time.  So many women simply don’t have someone to talk to about money.  And it is possible that other elements of the work you’ve done with them will come to play in this conversation. 

For example, often women fear that they need to be perfect before they go for it and ask for a raise or better position, or they feel they are not good enough to ask for more. These connected topics, the conjoined twins of perfectionism and low self-esteem, affect many women’s ability to go for it.

Explore in your conversation what her fears are around earning more. You may ask her to answer this question: 

• “I would like to earn more, but….” If she needs more help, then phrase it this way, “I’d like to make more money, but on a practical level, I am concerned that… and on an emotional level I fear that….”

Many women fear rocking the boat—it’s scary to put oneself out there. So, to have a confidant to talk about this with is essential. 

Perhaps the most important aspect to coaching women to greater abundance is being their supporter and accountability partner. Being the cheerleader to someone who is contemplating making a change is no small thing. And research shows that when women don’t talk to supportive people in their life about things such as raises or their fees, they don’t ask for raises often enough or charge enough money. But when they have someone in their life saying, “You can do this, and you are worth a lot of money!” it is a game changer.

Be this support for the women in your life. Your support, encouragement and openness about this topic can make more of a difference then you realize. You hold one of the keys to helping women step into greater abundance. Break the silence and explore her relationship to earning money.  Be the voice that tells her she is worth a lot.

I have worked with couples on their relationship to money for over twenty years. It’s transformative work for them.

Money coaching for couples works best when a couple is generally happily married, but may not feel completely on the same page about money—and would like to.  And usually, one or both people feel like they are in a “money fog”. They long to feel clear, be on the same page about money, and feel good about what they do with the families resources- but they just don’t know how to go about all this…. One of them may be contemplating a career transition, perhaps they are worried about insufficient savings, nagging debt, or they simply want to feel freer about money and spend less time worrying about it.

Money coaching will show you exactly where you spend your money, teach you how to better manage your cash flow, and most importantly, teach you how to plan where you WANT to spend your money so your finances are in balance. Along the way, you will assess your entire lifestyle, with the aim of bringing it into balance and deciding on any changes you want to make as a couple. And throughout it all, you will learn to talk about money and jointly decide how you want to spend (and earn), so there is never any stress or spoken and unspoken conflict or resentment around money. You will be become the team that you dreamed you could be and your friends will envy.

Over the years, I have refined the couples I consider working with–

• They must live in the greater Seattle area so they can do in-person sessions twice a month. (I work remotely with many individual people- but I prefer not to work with couples over the phone, at least initially.)
• They must have joint finances- meaning they do not maintain separate accounts. If this is the case, individual money coaching can make sense. Alternately, I’ve worked with many couples over the years who wanted to explore how to become more joint around money and I helped them make this transition. (Note: I also work with married individuals without their partners. This can work well if they are in charge of the finances and want to work on their own relationship to money.)
• Both people must want to enter into money coaching. I want to avoid situations where one person is “dragging” the other person in.
• I do not work with high conflict couples or couples who are exploring separation. This is generally a better case for couple’s counseling and marriage therapy.
• They must be willing to work together on their homework each week- the key question is if the couple has time to work on their relationship to money.
• Note: Mikelann will speak with each person individually in trying to determine if the three of us are a fit.

If you think you may be a fit for money coaching, please contact Mikelann to set up a time to speak.

See related post: couples and money – so you did not marry your clone