All posts by SeattleMoneyCoach

How to Set Your Fees—the many hours behind the hour

June 25, 2024Underearning 101SeattleMoneyCoach

Note- I originally published this article years ago when my son was ten years old, and have updated it because my new book, How to Set and Raise Your Fees—a heart-centered guide for coaches, counselors, and consultants, comes out in September 2024. See end to be notified of book release and classes.(This is a picture of me holding the original cover of the book from 2006. That was me 18 years ago!)

By Mikelann Valterra

On Friday I took my ten-year-old son in for a doctor’s visit. It’s a very busy office. As we were walking down the hallway, he asked me, “Mom, how much does this cost?” I replied without really thinking, “Oh- probably about a hundred dollars.” (Thankfully I do have insurance!) To which he fairly yelled:

“This costs a HUNDRED BUCKS? NO WAY!!”

And of course, all the heads turned our way as our nurse quickly hustled us into our little room for our 15-minute visit.

I then proceeded to tell my son that the doctor had gone to medical school and paid a lot for her education, putting in many years honing her abilities. And that hundred dollars also helped pay the nurses. And the building had to pay rent and buy all those supplies. Of course, by this time he was engrossed in examining the medical equipment pinned to the wall.

But since I still have YOUR attention, let’s think about us—do we charge enough money to really cover all our costs, including all the time, energy and money we’ve put into becoming who we are?

When you think about pricing, you may be overly fixated on charging for your time. Of course you need to charge enough for that hour of your life that you just gave to someone. And you also need to charge enough to cover all your other costs such as your web development and paying your assistant.

You need to charge enough to cover your prep time as well.

It’s not just about your face-to-face time with clients.

I walk into my office at 8am and open all my client files for that day. As a money coach I have a lot of interesting and engaging clients. I remind myself where we were last time, and I formulate a game plan for our upcoming session (knowing that any game plan may get thrown out the window depending on what they bring in with them!) This takes time. And good coffee.

But pricing correctly goes beyond this. I have years of experience. At this point, I rarely come across something that I haven’t seen before, and I draw on this past experience. It’s not just book knowledge. Sometimes I go with my gut in deciding when it’s time to broach certain subjects such as someone’s past money history or what is really going on with their spending. The hour they spend with me is built on many years that came before that hour.

What about you? You are the sum of your experience and I know that you bring this experience to bear in your work, as you should.

An hour of our time is never just an hour. What about all the hours it took you to arrive at this hour?

The hour you spend with a client likely represents countless hours honing your craft.

What about all your training, the classes you have taken, the reading you have done? You have honed your skill, and this is worth a lot of money. It may take five minutes to solve a client’s problem. But it may have taken you five years to get to the point where you can do that.

And no, you don’t have to be perfect. Let go of being perfect. Stop living in fear of not being able to answer a client’s question. You’ll never know it all. You’ll never be perfect. But you are still worth charging a lot of money. You have a lot of wisdom, experience and insight that comes from your past. This is huge. Do you use these things to help your clients get the results they want? Of course!

So ask yourself: Are the results your clients getting worth more than what they are paying you? If the answer is yes, then stop doubting yourself. And raise your fees 10% right now. Because it’s about more than that hour. You have a whole lifetime that has brought you here.

Claim all of who you are. This is worth a lot.

~~~

Please email Mikelann (mikelann@womenearning.com) if you want to be notified of when her new book comes out, How to Set and Raise Your Fees: A heart-centered guide for coaches, counselors, and consultants. She will also let you know about upcoming classes related to this book.

Do you have financial stress or financial anxiety? Here’s how to tell

June 11, 2024Emotional Money PathSeattleMoneyCoach

By Mikelann Valterra

Whew! Recently, I attended the Financial Therapy Association conference in San Diego. What IS financial therapy, you ask? It’s a process that uses both therapy skills and financial knowledge to help people achieve not just financial health but higher overall wellbeing. Money is never just about the numbers, is it. How we feel about it, and how we use it to create a life we love, is a huge subject. And it got me thinking about financial stress vs. financial anxiety. Yes, there is a difference.

Do you have financial stress or financial anxiety?

People who come to see me often mention being tired of money stress and not feeling empowered in their personal finances. But often when we dive in, they are experiencing financial anxiety. So, what is the difference?

Financial stress is usually caused by an external trigger, though it could be short term (being hit with a huge car bill) or long term (dealing with divorce or the effect of the pandemic on their business.) But when a stressful “event” happens, this causes a lot of financial stress. Sometimes the event is so big that it takes a while to see it as the cause of financial stress. Sometimes it is very obvious. But financial stress generally means we fear our inflow is not covering our outflow—big or small, now or in the future.

And financial stress causes all the mental and physical symptoms that general stress does: digestive troubles, difficulty sleeping, irritability, tension in relationships etc.

Financial anxiety is something different. It is more diffuse and on-going. Your money worries feel more persistent, even when there isn’t a specific stressor in front of you.

So, if you feel stress whenever you think about money, then you are likely suffering from financial anxiety. You can’t always put your finger on what is bothering you, but you feel a general sense of unease whenever you think about your finances. You can’t point to a single obvious trigger. You may live as if waiting for something bad to happen. If feels like walking around with a pit in your stomach. Or perhaps the feeling of unease comes over you when you think about the future.

The difference between financial stress and financial anxiety is important. For one thing, one is talked about, and one is not. People are more likely to share their financial stress with a loved one or a trusted friend. But when your feeling of “stress” drags on, it is something else. It is anxiety. And this is less talked about but can be more impactful.

Unfortunately, people often get used to financial anxiety, as if it is the air they breathe. They assume money is always “stressful”, though different things may bring it to the fore (like paying bills or buying a house.) But the reality is that it is always there in the background.

It is financial anxiety that blocks us from thinking about the future and is also the cause of financial indecision. It tends to fuel the money fog that keeps people vague about their money.

Financial anxiety saps your energy. It becomes hard to plan, or dream, when you suffer from financial anxiety. It all feels pointless, so why dream anyways?

The way out of financial anxiety is a two-pronged approach.

First, to feel more secure around money, my top recommendation is to design a personalized spending plan – a.k.a. budget– so you can clearly see your income and spending and then decide where YOU want your money to go.

Creating a nourishing spending plan that is in alignment with your values and what truly gives you satisfaction, while including a plan for savings, is a major stress reliever. When you automate some of your savings, anxiety lifts even more. Seeing that your income and outgo are balanced in both the small and big picture is a tremendously good feeling.

Second, it’s important to process where your feelings of financial unease come from. Exploring your money story can be hugely helpful, as so many beliefs we have about money are not conscious. They operate in the background creating various feelings (like anxiety!) Sometimes the roots go all the back to childhood. You may have been raised with parents who fought about money, and hearing this conflict as a young child created many feelings of fear and distrust of money.

And perhaps as a young adult, you went through huge financial stress when money was so tight you feared not having enough money for rent. These fears of our young adulthood often lurk in the background long after we have the specific fears of being short at the end of the month. Processing them with your therapist, financial therapist or money coach can be hugely beneficial in helping you feel better about money in general and alleviating long-standing financial anxiety.

So while we all go through periods of financial stress (life happens!) we do not need to suffer from financial anxiety. Financial anxiety can be overcome so you breathe freely, are excited about the future, and feel great about your money life.

Podcast: Game on Girlfriend! This is not your practice life

May 21, 2024PodcastsSeattleMoneyCoach

I had the most delightful conversation with the famous Sara Walton, business coach and host of the Game on Girlfriend podcast. As she loves to say, this is not your practice life! We dove into what IS money fog? What family dynamics really cause it? How do we talk to our kids about money so they don’t suffer from it? Oh—and how are food and money intertwined? Yes, we hit all this and more, including the big question: how much is enough? I loved re-watching this interview, even though I knew the topic! It was that good, and that fun to watch. Two sassy women chat it up about money. Game on Girlfriend!

Podcast: Audio | Apple | YouTube

Podcast: Women, Money, and Midlife with Jo Blackwell

April 11, 2024PodcastsSeattleMoneyCoach

I journeyed across the podcasting universe to the UK, where I spoke with Britain’s Jo Blackwell, a coach for women who want more from their lives after 50. Her “midlife movement” is changing minds about becoming older. (The Midlife Movement with Jo Blackwell.) We dove into the topic of money fog and talked about how the financial messages given to women have changed so much within our own lifetimes. For example, for women in mid-life, money conversations were not generally part of our childhoods. We also talked how the divorce rate impacts women, and the fact that we don’t want money to be why we stay in a bad relationship. And yes, we talked about the balance of power in relationships and how money impacts us. Money- it’s such an emotional topic. We rounded out the conversation by discussing how to rise above the money fog using three powerful questions, and how to open up and step into our dreams.

Podcast: Apple | Spotify | YouTube

Podcast: Feeling good about retirement with NewRetirement

April 3, 2024PodcastsSeattleMoneyCoach

I was honored to guest on the NewRetirement Podcast with Steve Chen. He has revolutionized retirement planning by making financial planning accessible to everyone with his affordable online tools. Take Retirement Planning into Your Own Hands | NewRetirement We had a great conversation on how to feel good about your money in the “de-accumulation” phase of life– how can you feel good when you are no longer adding money to your retirement pot? This tends to push a lot of buttons for people. And of course, once you do retire, you still need to manage your monthly cashflow. In fact, it may even be more important. We also dove into the dynamics of couples and money. And we did not shy away from the differences between men and women. For example, how do women catch up in retirement if their career trajectory is so much later then men’s? As I said in the podcast, this is about combining skillset and mindset. We rounded out the conversation with understanding your unique money personality. Enjoy!

Podcast – Listen here

Podcast: Jen Pestikas with Brave Women at Work

March 26, 2024PodcastsSeattleMoneyCoach

What a deep conversation this was! Jen Pestikas is a fabulous career and leadership coach who can set you on the right career path when you feel stuck. We talked about my new book, and dove into the emotional side of money—and how our childhood experiences impact us. I shared my own childhood money story, and while painful, how it inspired me to find my own career path. We ended by discussing being caught in the career “golden handcuffs”, and how we sometimes overwork because we are in a money fog. Then we dove into the concept of receptive surrender.

Podcast: Apple | Spotify

Podcast: The Efficiency Bitch Podcast

March 9, 2024PodcastsSeattleMoneyCoach

Gasp! What a name for a podcast! Podcast host Melissa Leon runs Two Sense Consulting, and she focuses on how “ambitious women can have it all without doing it all”. That is the focus of her “Efficiency Bitch” podcast as well. (By the way, “BITCH” stands for Bank, Inbox, Time, Connection, and Harmoney.) In this episode, we spent a focused 20 minutes on what IS the money fog? How can you tell if you are in a money fog? Why is it so emotional??? How do marketers and Madison Avenue tell you what you should do with your money? (We recorded this episode right before the Holidays and talked about the crazy advertising that tells us to spend, spend, spend!) And last, how does the money fog keep us from living our dreams? Melissa is a great host, and you will love this fast twenty minutes.

Podcast:

Apple | Spotify | YouTube

Podcast: Lead like a Woman

March 7, 2024PodcastsSeattleMoneyCoach

This conversation with Andrea Heuston, from Lead Like a Woman, hits it all. We dove into what happens in big life transitions like empty nesting and divorce. This is when the money fog really rears its head. We also debated whether money fog affects women more than men. Listen in to find out Mikelann’s thoughts on this. We talked about our childhoods and chatted about where money fog comes from. Many of us were raised in families where not only were we not taught about money, but money talk was also completely taboo… And then for good measure we talked about raising our own children around money. Andrea shared how she parented her boys around money. Needless to say, it was not how she herself was raised! Listen to this frank conversation between two women who dive in deep.

Time marks you may enjoy:

5:00– What is money fog?

10:00– How much is enough?

14:00 – The hidden impact of money fog

16:00 – Common life transitions

20:00– Do women suffer more from money fog?

22:00– From our childhoods

25:00– Parenting our own children

29:00– The three key questions

32:00– Elegant financial simplicity

Podcast:

Apple | Spotify

Podcast: The psychology of money, with Wendy Valentine of the Midlife Makeover Show

March 5, 2024PodcastsSeattleMoneyCoach

Wendy Valentine of the Midlife Makeover Show interviewed me on her fabulous podcast. She titled the episode “Clearing the Money Fog: Empowering your finances.” I love that. I would also call this episode, “The psychology of money”. We hit everything from where your beliefs about money come from (childhood…) to how money affects your romantic relationships. Ideally, money is the sacred tool that you use to design and live your own best life. Understanding the emotions and beliefs that surround your money will empower you and help you envision a great next chapter. Tune in to this super fun and engaging conversation.

Podcast:

Apple | Spotify | Podbean | YouTube

Podcast: Simplify your finances, with Jennifer Ford Berry and the Make Room Show

February 5, 2024PodcastsSeattleMoneyCoach

I can’t say enough about the Make Room Show podcast with Jennifer Ford Berry. (Certified Professional Organizer and Productivity Coach for Women (jenniferfordberry.com) She had read my book cover to cover and dove straight in with all her questions and comments. Wow! We hit a lot. From money as a sacred power to how and why people get stuck in debt (and how to get out of debt!) We talked about my favorite topic of “elegant financial simplicity”, which Jennifer loved, being in the field of organizing. And yes, we talked about using a spending plan process to become the visionary of YOUR life. This podcast is both inspirational AND also packed with a lot of practical take-aways. A lot. Enjoy!