Recently, I went to a large chain bookstore and stood in front of several shelves of business and career development books. From how to write your resume to how to decide what you want to do with your life, it was all there. Everything, that is, except money. 

I grabbed a pile of the most promising career/ professional development books and sat down to study their indexes, looking for the chapter in each book where they talked about money. You know—how much money you wanted to make and how much various careers paid etc. I found nothing. The closest thing was the perfunctory chapter on salary negotiation. There was nothing on deciding how much you wanted and needed to make, and nothing on how to match your income desires to different careers. There was nothing on the financial pros and cons of various fields and no talk of the incredible wide discrepancy in pay between fields.

What did I find?

Personality profiles. All the career development books were devoted to helping you analyze your personality and then find a good match with a satisfying career. Now mind you, I am not saying that a good match is not important. It is incredibly important. You spend far too many hours working to not enjoy what you do. But money is incredibly important as well. It is one of the main reasons people work in the first place! And yet it is hardly even mentioned in the many books designed to help you find the right “match”!

One of the better books out there on job change is the annual updated What Color is Your Parachute series. This series is about how to do a “life-changing job hunt”, and is full of useful and practical information on how to job hunt in real life, using what Richard Nelson Boyles and Katharine Brooks describe as non-traditional techniques. (For example, they think that resumes do very little to help us land the next job.) 

In their annual edition, they list out the most common reasons that people pursue a major change in their career. I was fascinated to see that only one had anything to do with money and compensation. It seems as though work is rarely related to money, and I believe this “disconnect” has far reaching repercussions for everyone, but especially women. As you’ve seen, a life time of not earning at one’s potential, of not really taking one’s earnings seriously or trying to maximize what one can earn in a given position, wreaks havoc on your future financial stability. And I can virtually guarantee you that the person you will be in thirty years is going to wish you had paid more attention to this whole “money” thing, in the present.

The disconnect in our schooling

As I mentioned, the disconnect between work and money starts even earlier then when we enter the job force. It starts in school, where money is rarely acknowledged or discussed.

Why does no one ask us when we are in school how much money we would like to make? It seems almost a crass question, so it is rarely, if ever, brought up. And since it is not brought up in the schools, people generally do not bring it up themselves. A school’s silence on making money somehow sanctions ones continued reticence in asking the question ourselves. 

Even when we are growing up, most girls dream of doing many things, but very few of them envision how much money is attached to these fantasy occupations. There is still an ingrained sense of reliance on something outside themselves. Women do not have the basic assumption that it will be up to them to take care of both themselves and a family. Therefore, they have the luxury of not thinking about this whole money thing. 

But what if we did think about it?

What questions would we ask ourselves? Perhaps we could start by asking how much money we would like to earn someday. Then when we are in school we could ask questions like,

“How much money could I expect to make if I study this”? 

This single question is so important, yet it is almost never asked. Women pay a high price for not asking questions like these. Years later, after decades of low earnings, they may wish they had asked themselves more questions. 

Ready to earn more and step into greater freedom? Click here to be notified of the next time Mikelann offers her 8 week Unlock Your Earning Power course.

We are all feeling the effect of not going out, waiting for the Coronavirus to lessen its hold on our society. But my work has continued, as my clients (who I now see online) continue to work on their relationship to money. Some have reduced incomes, some are struggling with increased online spending, and others have old money stories arising from childhood. Now is definitely a good time to continue working on one’s relationship to money. In fact, never has there been a better time to learn how to manage one’s cash flow in a healthy way. 

And yet everything is so incredibly strange, isn’t it? Has everything stopped? Are we in limbo waiting for life to resume on the other side? I know everyone reading this has something that has been deeply impacted. 

So I want to share six positive money moves you could make as a result of this strange time. It IS possible to come out of this Covid-haze with your finances in BETTER shape than when you went in. You can resolve to have healthier, saner, easier finances, for the next time life throws you a curve ball. Because while this is a curve ball that our entire society has been thrown, we will all have individual curve balls in the future. 

Make the most of this strange time by taking one or more of the following actions.  Then you can feel that there was something positive to come out of this bizarre quarantine time.

• House clean online monthly subscriptions. Now could be a great time to look at your statements and list all the monthly entertainment and other on-line subscriptions you have. From Netflix and Hulu to monthly online membership groups, many of us buy these and then eventually stop using them, but don’t cancel them. Schedule a couple of hours to call and email those you don’t want or use anymore. Stop the slow leak

• Consolidate your accounts. I’m a huge believer in having simple elegant finances. One checking account, one credit card account, and two savings accounts (one for periodic expenses and a safety net.) So now could be a good time to get the automatic deductions off of the miscellaneous credit cards you have and move everything on to one credit card. This way you can see what you spend, far easier. The more accounts you use, the more money fog you are in. Here’s a two minute video I recorded on this.
  

• Clean up the mail box and your paper files at home. Time to let go of some paper? Empty those files. And the next time your accounts and bills give you the options for eBills and eStatements, consider it. Especially if you have some bills on auto pay, such as utility bills. You likely have an account on line, so why have a hard copy bill mailed also? This is a great time to do some house cleaning. 

• Start a safety net. Open a new saving account at your bank and nick name it in the online banking interface, “Safety Net”. Set up an automatic transfer each month of $100 (or more). This is the account that you will eventually have three months expenses in, so the next time you encounter a curve ball, you will feel more secure. 

• Increase or start retirement investing. There is never a bad time to work on your retirement funding, though often we put this off. Call your company and increase your 401(k) by 1%. Or increase your IRA funding if you are self-employed. Or start an IRA if you have no retirement funding started. (Consider a target retirement fund at Vanguard if you do not have a financial planner. The diversification is handled for you.) And here is my post on taming the fear of retirement planning.
  

• And if you are into curling up and reading, here is my post from a few years ago on three books for your money journey.   To this list I would now add:  Tosha Silver’s book, It’s Not Your Money- How to live fully from divine abundance.
  

There can be positives that come out of this time when we are all cocooning. Schedule some time for yourself to do one of these actions, and you will feel like you made the most of this time. Because it IS possible to come out of this Covid-haze with your finances in BETTER shape than when you went in. And no doubt you’ve discovered some new shows on Netflix as well.

My best to you,

Mikelann

Here are two powerful questions that I ask all my clients when we put together their annual spending plans for the year:

• What would you like more of in your life this year?
• What would you like less of in your life this year?

Simple sounding? Perhaps. But when I ask myself those questions, I hear, “more tango lessons, more retirement savings, and less time spent on housework.” All three of those translated into my 2018 annual plan. I increased my IRA contributions by 2%, hopped on line to find another local tango class, and hired a house cleaner. Ahhhh. Such happiness.

What about you? Grab a pen and a cup of coffee and jot down YOUR answers. What do you want more of in your life? What do you want less of? Simple questions can be the most powerful.

Don’t get stuck in the “how”. Just be open to wanting or disliking something. Step into desire. Explore your irritations.

You may want a material item (more clothes) or a service (more house cleaning) or experiences (like travel).

You may be tired of spending so much time on something. One client of my mine immediately said, “I want less time spent helping my kids with math homework after dinner!” After chewing on this, she decided to hire a teenager to come over after dinner and supervise math homework for her two elementary aged children. She said it was the best money she ever spent.

Simple questions yield powerful answers.

Happy New Year!

Mikelann

If you would like help transforming your relationship to money and creating a life you love, or simply need a fresh start in working on your money, I would be honored to be your guide. Visit www.seattlemoneycoach.com for info. I have amazing clients all over the world.

I am thinking a lot about foundations- literally. I am in the process of building a second home that I will rent out. (I’ll write future posts on alternative ways to think about retirement, income streams and going “work optional”. Once you are in command of your money, there are many ways to do it.)

I had underestimated the importance of the foundation part of the project. But not anymore. My back lot is a sea of mud, there is an excavator parked in the middle, and concrete forms are rising up out of the earth. Water and sewer pipes are being trenched in. (Is that a verb?) The picture is complete with a honey bucket in my front yard.  Wow.

As I gaze upon my queendom, I realize that this foundation will stand strong for my entire life, regardless of whether the house that appears on top is remodeled and changed over the years.

I sat with a client recently, coaching her on how to manipulate her annual income and spending plan to give her more of what she wants- more time, more savings, less debt. But she was able to engage at this high level because she had worked hard on her foundation. She had spent several months with me learning how to be in touch with her money– track it,  use savings to manage her cash flow (instead of debt) and work at the monthly planning level. She had also fully engaged in exploring her emotions around money. And while the initial stages were a bit messy, like my back lot, her foundation is now very strong.

So it goes without saying that a healthy foundation is key to building the house- and life – you want. But in money, we often want to rush to the “sexy” stuff. So we build a gorgeous room on dirt or sand, and then it eventually sinks and falls apart. We want to move to investing, or focus on making large pots of money from big projects etc. But without a strong foundation, these things will simply not give us lasting impact. A year later, we often find ourselves in the same place. (Stressed out and anxious about money.)

The cornerstone to the foundation for a healthy relationship with money is tracking the flow of it. If you can track the flow of money in and out of your life, then you become in charge of that flow. You can direct the flow, like a conductor leading an orchestra. And once you learn how to direct the flow, pure magic can happen. (It’s also easier to increase the flow once you are in control of it. Trust me.) You become the conscious creator of your life- your own life architect.

From strong foundations, pure magic can arise and you can build the house of your dreams.

(But oh man– I can’t wait for the honey bucket to get carted away.)

 I wanted to share some additional thoughts to my previous post on my work with couples and money.

While happily married couples are generally compatible, they have some dynamic differences between them as well. This often comes out in their money relationship and can be quite wonderful to explore. The key is to be able to talk about money and share a vision for your life.

Sometimes one person has been managing the money for years and they want to shift to feeling more equal around the financial decision making. They want to be able to explore what is and isn’t working around their money, and feel like they are on the same page about both their present and their future.

Couples sometimes have fairly different backgrounds around money and different “money personalities”. This is not a bad thing- in fact, it is very common. (Besides, it’s not very sexy to marry your clone- of course you have differences!) “Savers” often marry “spenders” (in a very simplistic sense) and couples often want to transcend this, as it tends to not work for either person.  Likewise, “money worriers” often marry “money avoiders”, and eventually this doesn’t work for either person, but they don’t know what to do.

And often one person is more detailed oriented while the other is a bit more “big picture” oriented, though of course everyone needs both of these abilities.

Money coaching helps you explore your differences and utilize your individual strengths around money, while shoring up your weaknesses.  There is a sense of being a team and money coaching facilities this. This work is about exploring how to balance your present needs, wants, income and expenses, while making sure you avoid debt you don’t want, you build savings that makes you feel great, and you have a way to talk about money and make financial decisions. It is about how to create a life you both really love, as well as a future you look forward to.

(see previous post on Couples money coaching – becoming the dream team you knew you could be)

It was 20 years ago that I started my own journey of Financial Recovery.

At the time, I was completing graduate school and considered myself a pretty smart cookie. I was already fascinated with money and the almost mystical power it had. I was studying the psychology of money, and I loved digging into the metaphysics and spirituality of money, as well as learning about the connection between brain science and personal finance.

One thing that bothered me the most about this period of my life as a grad student was that I didn’t have enough money, and I didn’t have a handle on what I did have…  This stressed me out at a fundamental level. How was this possible–   I even have a bachelors in economics!

Then one day at a conference on “The Soul of Money” I hear Karen McCall, founder of the Financial Recovery Institute, talk about money in a way that was new from what I was learning. She talked about how we have to address our issues of shame and deprivation if we wanted to have a healthy relationship with money. She said that often our most persistent money problems have nothing to do with how smart we are or how hard we work. Rather, destructive money behaviors come from something much deeper—deprivation.

She further explained that deprivation meant living in a state of emptiness and longing. I knew that day that I wanted to work with Karen—I wanted to work with her as a coach and I wanted to do what she was doing.

This was profound work for me.

As Karen and I explored my own relationship with money, I saw that sometimes I was frustrated at not being able to buy what I wanted. Yet at other times, I felt guilty for indulging in things I couldn’t afford. I bounced from getting too much to not having enough, in more than one area of my life. I remember Karen saying, “You can never get enough of what you don’t need.”  So true.

Fast forward- it’s been more than 20 years that I’ve been working with people on how to transform their own relationship with money- both practically and emotionally. It is deeply rewarding work, both for me and for my clients who use this process to design a life of their own making- a life of conscious choice.

Powerful work.

If you are not ready to work with me, here is a great opportunity to work on healing deprivation issues in a very cost effective way: Karen McCall has a monthly membership group devoted to healing these issues and creating a more meaningful life. I am proud to be one of her guests whom she interviews on this powerful topic.

I think you will love this membership group.

Mikelann is a money coach with over 20 years’ experience, helping women escape the money fog, feel more in control of their finances and love their financial life. If you are ready to leave money stress behind and design a life you love, please see www.seattlemoneycoach.com and read about this life changing work.  Once there, grab her free eBook on how to stop worrying about money.

I’m often asked for book recommendations to read as part of your money journey. So below are three wonderful books that get to the heart of your relationship with money. They are not just about the practical side of money, with advice on debt and savings, but rather, they all go much deeper into the emotional and spiritual sides of money.  All three of these women are trusted colleagues of mine. I’m quoted in Karen’s book, I’ve been cited in various books by Barbara (and even contributed to one of her anthologies) and Bari has had me both teach for her and has interviewed me. I say this not to brag, but to let you know how well I know and trust their work. These books cover everything from how you were raised with money and your “money story”, to getting to the root of overspending and underearning. They are each an odyssey of personal growth and will move you forward.

And as you know, I feel strongly about the transformative nature of my work as a money coach. Working with a guide will move you from feeling bad or just plain frustrated about your money life to designing a life you love and feeling great about money.  But sometimes it is a book that is your guide. So it my hope and prayer that one of these books can be a light for you on your money journey. Enjoy!

Financial Recovery- How to develop a healthy relationship with money

Karen McCall is my oldest and dearest colleague and this book is in many ways a capstone of her amazing 40 year career as a money coach. Whether you are suffering under crushing debt, unable to save money, or caught in the tangle of inherited wealth, Karen’s book offers a time-tested plan for building a stable and satisfying way of life — and keeping it that way. It will help you make a fundamental shift in the way you understand and behave around money.

Filled with many stories, Karen’s book presents a simple system that enables you to discover your underlying attitudes about money — often the cause of self-defeating money behaviors such as overspending, chronic debt, underearning, and low or no savings — and provides the tools, strategies, and support to achieve financial well-being. Karen is a master money coach and true adept at getting to the emotional heart of the matter.  (I trained with Karen after completing graduate school.)

The Art of Money- A life-changing guide to financial happiness

Bari Tessler has been a money coach for many years and finally wrote a book that captures her thinking and feelings about money. It’s a beautiful book. From how to heal your money story, to the practical side of what to DO with money, she maps it all out. She focuses on money “healing”, and using our relationship with money as a gateway to self-awareness. She weaves together emotional depth, big-picture visioning, and refreshingly accessible, nitty-gritty money practices. Like Karen’s book above, it is full of many honest stories, including her own journey. Enjoy with a cup of tea.

Sacred Success: A Course in Financial Miracles, by Barbara Stanny

Barbara Stanny has focused for years on working with women and their relationship to money. (Prince Charming isn’t Coming- how women get smart about money—was her first big book. It’s also fabulous.) This book goes deep into women’s often troubled relationship with power, and how this translates to financial success. Sometimes, it’s necessary to take a step back and surrender for a time, heal, step into YOUR vision, and from there move into your own sacred success. I have a lot of my high power clients who earn a lot of money, but may be questioning their life paths, read the first half of this book. What does it really mean to be a woman of power?…. This book is amazing.

Mikelann is a money coach with over 20 years’ experience, helping women escape the money fog, feel more in control of their finances and love their financial life. If you are ready to leave money stress behind and design a life you love, please see www.seattlemoneycoach.com and read about this life changing work.  Once there, grab her free eBook on how to stop worrying about money.

It’s a bright shiny New Year, and I bet you’ve heard many versions of “New Year, New You.” So—is this year the year to shift your relationship with money? Here are three steps to contemplate, so you decide if this is the year to make the shift.

The first step is to name the feeling that you are tired of experiencing.

Here are examples: you are tired of worrying that the money you make isn’t going to the right places. You’re tired of feeling guilt over what you spend sometimes, like taking vacations. You’re tired of feeling frustrated over not having enough for large home projects. You’re tired of stressing over balances (retirement account balances, debt balances). You feel anxiety when you think about sitting down and trying to figure it all out.

Worry, guilt, stress, anxiety. Yikes. If you feel these things relating to money, I imagine it is draining you. I find that people often get used to feeling these feelings, though. However, money frustrations can often morph to free floating anxiety.

And, sometimes people simply can’t kick this nagging feeling that they are “not good with money”. This feeling may go all the way back—to childhood. If so, I bet you are tired of this feeling!

So step one is naming what is not working. More specifically– name the feeling that you are tired of experiencing. 

Step two is to assess your energy you could potentially devote to making a shift.

Do you have the energy to devote to this project? Making shifts does take time. And time is energy. Yes, you can hire a guide and get help (step three perhaps) but before then, you want to contemplate your energy. This may be the year that you need to devote to your health, or your children or some other area of life. Is this the time to consider making a shift in your relationship to money?

Step three is to begin by taking one action to show the universe that you are ready to make the shift.

Here are some possible actions:

• Read a money book (I will share three books I recommend in my next post.)
• Set up automatic payments (to retirement accounts or to credit cards or line of credits)
• Talk to your financial planner
• Start tracking your spending and income
• Work with a money coach (you knew I would throw that one in there.)

What action appeals? Which feels doable? What does your intuition tell you is a good place to start?

Again, the three steps to feeling better are name the feeling you want to change, assess your energy to make a shift, and start by taking one action.

I have guided many women on this journey to feeling better about their finances. It is a sacred journey, and yes, it has twists and turns at times. Our individual money stories would make quite a fascinating read! But most of all, my wish for you is that you feel better about money. As simple as this sounds, we all know it is huge. When we feel better about money, we breathe easier, think about money less, have more freedom, and begin the next stage of the journey around money- designing a life we truly love.

Mikelann is a money coach with over 20 years’ experience, helping women escape the money fog, feel more in control of their finances and love their financial life. If you are ready to leave money stress behind and design a life you love, please see www.seattlemoneycoach.com and read about this life changing work.  Once there, grab her free eBook on how to stop worrying about money.

Did you know that food and money are connected in many ways? We spend and eat to feel better, or just to “numb out”. Yes, they both have a deeply emotional component to them. Here is my article on this. And here is a three minute video about this. I end it with three helpful questions to ask yourself so you can get a handle on both emotional spending and eating.

Mikelann is a money coach with over 20 years’ experience, helping women escape the money fog, feel more in control of their finances and love their financial life. If you are ready to leave money stress behind and design a life you love, please see www.seattlemoneycoach.com and read about this life changing work.  Once there, grab her free eBook on how to stop worrying about money.